Painful Change

I feel like I am watching an early demise unfold before me. I was happy, I thought I was finally able to let go of the past. That was until I saw a message you sent my friend. Suddenly, the sleepless nights and the appetite loss came back. I can't stop the tears anymore.

People say change is good, embrace it and you will be happy. But am I? I feel like my whole life right now is just like a movie, I am not living it, just watching it pass me right by. Yes, people can say, in fact everyone would say it, I made the decision to leave a 5-years' relationship, so I would have to find a way to move on. It feels so hard.

I started dating again. He is really nice to me and he made me feel really special again. But, am I ready for this? It feels like things are moving too fast. I have always been an impulsive person. I just want to do whatever makes me happy at the moment. I could feel something has changed between us. I could hear the deafening silence. I have tried asking him what is wrong, but he gave me no explanation. I could hear the lyrics playing out in real life twice in this year.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you"

It feels like a smoke screen just lifted and I could finally see clearly who I am and what do I really need now.

Kent M Night and Worldfest

My fellow chinese fan dancers

The Kent Malaysian Society definitely created history this year by organizing its very own Malaysian Nighthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGzgi_CuzaA and performed in Kent Worldfest http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyZUlf8tnqI .

Here I present you, our very own video for these 2 special nights that all the committee members, casts, dancers and props team worked so hard for. Our efforts were certainly paid off with the Gulbenkian Theatre filled almost to the brim, and winning the "Most Professional and Polished" award.

After months of practicing every night until we got so tired, that I could even dance my Chinese Fan Dance in my sleep. That's how much we actually prepared for it. I can't blame Stery, our choreographer for being so strict, because at the end we were well rewarded with a huge applause from the crowd.

New friendships were made and I hope will sustained throughout time.

Ta ta for now.

14th of Feb-Valentines Day

This is the day that you see gypsy girls in their colourful maxi skirts loittering the streets selling heaps of roses to unsuspecting lover boys who are trying to impress their female friends, or loved one.

Guess I fell for that trick as well. I mean, which girl wouldn't swoon at the sight of roses or flowers?

I tried imagining my single days during valentines. I still cant recall why would they ever name this day the "Single Awareness Day". It isn't sad, but just a big annoying reminder that you still haven't found the one yet. Until now, I ain't sure, when will you ever get to know if he is indeed the one?

He brought me to London, tried to impress me by spending me dinner and accompanied me on my trip to shop on Oxford Street. It was really nice of him, but sometimes, sweet intentions just isn't enough to me? (p.s. cuz I found his real purpose(as it seemed to me) was to catch up with his sister more than to celebrate valentines day with me). All in all, he did his best, I got to give him credit for that. But someone has got to tell him, when you are dating a girl, u simply do not bring your sister as well!!!

Curious of what I did for him? Hhehee.. Not much, but just a little video to tell him our story (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UraxobwpG9g), and my feelings during each special moments we shared together as a couple. I made him so touched that he cried, just as I had aimed for:) Well done to myself. Plus(don't tell him), I purposely brought him to a japanese restaurant to let him have his favourite food. A little sacrifice I guess I can make:)

Feeling down

Came back to the UK, relieved with my newfound freedom, with unsettled feelings, I made Canterbury's Hales Place my new home. Sprained my ankle on a fun games' night cuz I fell off a flight of stairs. I know:( What a kill-joy right?

Got nominated and chosen as the junior committee in Malaysian society(happy yet unexpected), and started being given more responsibilities, got to start to learn how to juggle them well:P

N there's the short update on my life.

On another sadder note,I'm feeling pretty upset.(Tired of being the wallflower)

Stayed up a few hours more..*cough cough*, with my body temperature rising... Wanna sleep but my mind won't clear up...

Saw something that reminded me about what someone said before...

Old memories brought up by a meeting with Old best buddies

LOL saw this in the Art Gallery in KLCC and the literature gang turn on our thinking caps:P

Floyd:"those looked like faulty condoms judging by the colours"

I can never shake that out of my mind now:P Exploded condoms hahaha!!

I finally had a chance to meet up with my literature class gang and old stories started to pop up. At least Sam wasn't as weird as before? He used to drink all sorts of protein shakes everyday in class and one day someone asked him how it tasted like

Sam: "it tastes like cum" and walked away, speaking about a way to get ppl shocked in their tracks:P

Esther and Yee chieh began their lesbo acts again lol, n the story of their stalkers cam out one by one:P Hmm.. great memories:P

Me and my Poor Sense of Directions Bestie:) Only got to meet her for a short while before she went home, only to slave on her assignments again:( Sigh, I missed u loads dear. It's only cuz u requested that I finally start writing a post again:) Flattered much?

Quick Quick!! let Help's semester end as fast as possible. I want to see and talk n eat as much as possible with my bestie here!!!

Floyd and Esther:) They look lovely together:P

Yee Chieh and Esther!! The 2 leng luis in my lit. class:) Dare not take pic beside them hehehe.. scared later I become a wallflower liao:P

Sam, the biggie, p.s:My mom saw ur pic and said you grew thinner and more leng zai:) hehehe..

Easter Break trip

Look who I've met-Elton Luo from a tuition centre I went to when I was young.

I can't believe I could actually bump into someone I've never talked to before until now, he's quite friendly after all.

Hey, that's Captain Jack Sparrow:)

Manchester City In Monotone: The beautiful city in which I had the golden opportunity to see Sir Alex Ferguson, the manager of the Manchester United Football Club. Even though I don't watch football or show any particular interest in it like my boyfriend(ever devoted fan towards MU) does, I know I've met someone famous and special:) This is also the city where my boyfriend got my love rival(his Samsung SGS) pick-pocketed on the bus back from Old Trafford.
Overlooking the football pitch in Old Trafford.

I was there to gain a whole new experience of watching a football match in a stadium full of MU fans. I almost fell asleep half way through the match. After all the opponent-fullham is no match to MU, nowhere near them.

Merry christmas everyone!!
'http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd'.